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Current Week: 0

Last 7 weeks of Mileage:

Monday May 19th, 2008: 0 miles
AM: 0 miles Switching back to Merv
PM: 0 miles
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Wednesday May 14th, 2008: 1.6 miles
AM: 0 miles (5:28:00 min) (0:00/pace) Graduation requirements This should probably not actually go in my running log. At 11:44, I decided I had to sleep overnight in the library or I wouldn't graduate. Also it had to be tonight. I got GPo to come with me and then we got Tmiles but Doggy was in the shower and we had to go right then so we said "Get your stuff!" which by that we meant don't bring any stuff, and we walked casually to the library downstairs to the basement and hid under the carrels until security came around but stupidly did not find us while we were crunched up uncomfortable under the desks as they turned off the lights and locked up.

We hid for a while not knowing what to do. Then I had to pee so I sneaked upstairs to the men's bathroom which is less creepy than the women's and closer but did not flush. There were no motion sensors to our surprise. We figured they would track us by our cell phones and almost destroyed them. Tim got a text message that he had to change time zones. We took off our shoes and hid them at the 107th stack. I thought a book said "witch" but I imagined it. There were critical U.S. and foreign documents in the basement that are hiding the truths of life. They had a sign saying to be destroyed or sent to Swat. Good thing we found them before we completed college. We found a "Nancy Lo: something about eggs and Northern Anchovy." It literally made no sense. Nothing made sense because it was 2 am. We snuck around and opened doors and found a closet and pipes and a bunch of faculty carrels. One had a window and a chair and we spied on the outsiders. There were so many rooms that opened into worlds. We found the big books all about maps of yellowstone or JFK. I was hungry from my race luckily there was someone's cinnamon toast crunch and I ate it. GPo ate someone's cough drop whose thesis was about males and widows. We went on the internet and I made my dog Moose a facebook profile. Then we went behind the front desk to find the keys to watch a movie. We ate a woman's M&M's but only because the note invited us to. I did not abide by the rule of ducking behind the windows for which GPo yelled at me. I wrote HI with paper strips on some lady's desk. The screensaver was a cat but not a real cat but it still startled me. We found a CD virtual tour of Museo d'Orsay in Paris and looked at all the masterpieces of art on the computer. We saw a lot of paintings and did virtual looks at the museum with music. We had to pee many times. We did not get seen by the video camera because we covered our faces up with our shirts. Then we were tired and found the couches on the main floor but those were too small but they worked better for me than GPo and Tim. We slept ok until 5:13 am when a cleaner man turned the lights on and laughed at us. Then we decided to go to real bed and got our shoes from the basement and the man was playing music but was hidden when we left. Nobody knew we left except that our stickers that said "Not to be taken from the library" set off the alarm but we left anyway because we wanted to keep the stickers.
PM: 1.6 miles Streaking (1.6)
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Tuesday May 13th, 2008: 7 miles
AM: 1 miles (5:28:00 min) (0:00/pace) shakeout (1) Alumni into DC breakfast.
PM: 6 miles SWAT LAST CHANCE 5K 18:26, 3 sec PR from last weekend

I went into this race a little confused about why I was doing it especially after deciding I wasn't going to go for nationals in the 10. The whole warmup (and pretty much day) I felt terrible, like my stomach felt bloated, my legs were rubbery, and my hips hurt. I was also really sleepy all yesterday and today. Then I thought about how little rest I got last week, the stress and lack of sleep, and felt it really hitting me recently, and why would I want to race now, and have a sucky performance now when I just wanted to end the season with Conferences.

On the warmup Kate and Hayley and I went with chick and found some awesome awesome trails. This made me feel so much better about the whole thing, but also wondered why I wouldn't just keep running on the trails and screw the race. I seriously contemplated dropping out before I had begun, I mean why wait to drop out during the race if I don't even have to run this. I am putting myself through this race, seemingly for no good reason--not for any team advancement at least. It would make absolutely no difference to anyone but myself not running this. How could i possibly run next year on my own if I can't even rationalize racing for myself? But after hearing that Kate and Hayley had similar sorts of thoughts, I realized the reason I was doing it had a lot to do with wanting to run it together with Hayley and Kate. I couldn't cop out on them now. Even more importantly, I also realized that this would be my last chance this season to show what I've got, and the last chance to wear a Haverford uniform. I thought about the two bad alternatives: of dropping out and just passing up the chance for feeling like shit, vs. going through it and running a terrible last race. Although I didn't want either one, I knew I would regret MORE not even trying. Somehow at this point I was watching the men's 5k and I thought about what it means to put yourself out there on the line, to test your physical and mental strength, to truly push the body to the limit, and I remembered that I LOVE racing, and THAT is why I was doing this. It was to extend my season as long as possible and milk the juices of what's still left in me.

My strides actually felt decent surprisingly, although I didn't warm up enough I think. Although my initial goal was to get a PR, I decided I was just going to have fun with this. That way, no matter what happened physically, I would still be happy with the day. I started off in last place which gives me some sort of strange thrill. I still went through in 88, which was about what I expected. I tried to keep moving up through a pack that annoyingly did not want to lead the race. Everyone was drafting off me again, just like in the 10k. This sucked, although just when I was getting pissed and felt I'd made a dumb move with an 87, then Kate came around and took the lead for a lap, which allowed me to mentally refresh and just maintain. The pace never felt totally right, like I was surging or relaxing, in retrospect perhaps relaxing too much at times because of being afraid to lead as much as I did in the 10k and then just die. I could tell that the pace was tiring people out though, including myself, since it was faster than I've ever run it before I guess, and I kept telling myself that I needed to push harder and drop people in the last mile. Mentally though I felt kind of exhausted to be honest, like I wasn't quite emotionally prepared and sharp and strong for this 5k after last weekend and week. It was awesome though that Kate and I were able to push the last 800 together, and really work to drop the pack, which somehow worked. Of course she outkicked me, I guess the 10k was the exception of my life. Although I was pleasantly surprised to PR, I know my body is in shape for an even faster time since running fresh like this I should be significantly faster than this, and I'm still hungry to improve on my 5k. I also finished feeling like I race the 5k too much like the 10k in that I have too much patience and never feel quite exerted enough at the end, like I don't know how to utilize my training for this distance. Perhaps it's because I was indeed training for the 10, or because last time I was running the 5k tired, so I COULD feel totally spent by the end (since I frankly already felt spent at the beginning). I was happy to PR, but was also annoyed at having again to lead most of a race, making it feel more like a time trial again, and was not able to truly push me or something. Running with the pack behind you is so much harder than with one in front of you to draw you into speeding up.

Cooled down with Bess Ritter, who was really sweet and actually from Waterford, CT, 20 min from my house.

It was great to have Kate and Hayley right there to make it feel like it was still a team thing, and especially to see all the goats and bees cheering the whole time, and I'm hoping that spirit doesn't ever have to die when I leave the team officially. I also hope that I don't ever forget my love for racing. Living in Boat city next semester should help.
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Monday May 12th, 2008: 6 miles
AM: 2 miles (5:28:00 min) (0:00/pace) trails (2) Felt good after 10 hours of sleep! I think I can only sleep well when there's nothing to do. Glad to get a second chance at the night before the night before because I screwed up the first one like a false start.

Had to hurdle some trees.
PM: 4 miles trails (4) 37 min and 5 x strides

Ran with Darian in the rain. Nice time to vent about things. Felt anxious to race, but still went easy. This week has been nice to just run exactly how long I want to run no more no less, which I am hoping has kept me in shape and allowed me at the same time to recover from conferences for tomorrow's 5k. I just want to have fun. Planning on doing my pre-race carbo load and overhydration by drinking all of the mixers at the senior party.

I decided this a while ago but basically I'm not going to try to qualify for nationals in the 10 because:
1. I'd have to go alone to Chicago for a last chance meet on graduation weekend
2. then I'd only have a week to recover before nationals itself
3. I'd have to run a 1:30 PR to go, and still 30 sec to even provisionally qualify
4. I am really pleased with the season and I feel that to ask for a time and improvement like this when that has really not even been the goal of the season would be to overshadow and take for granted the already very fulfilling season that I have had. I feel that I could only really be disappointed by continuing on, and doing so would take away from the accomplishments.
5. Basically that was not even what running was about for me this season.

I guess I will still always wonder whether I could have made it to Nationals. It kind of bothers me to know that I am consciously NOT seeing what more I could do in the 10 this season. Like is this giving up the last opportunity to do something like this? Shouldn't I at least try to see what level of excellence my body is capable of? I think what helps is knowing that this ISN"T the end of my running. I will always be a runner, and the miles, workouts, hills, long runs, races, and PRs will certainly not end when I graduate, and on top of simply loving running, making that a reality is becoming my next running goal.
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Sunday May 11th, 2008: 5.5 miles
AM: 0 miles (2:25:00 min) (0:00/pace) D.C. PR In my third outlasting attempt this semester, I stayed at the D.C. from 11:00 am until 1:25 p.m. Nick the chick was my teammate. That is to say, he was not my opponent; rather we were egging each other on and basking in the glorious wasting of time. He had a head start, having gotten there at 10:30.In hindsight, I should have started at 10:00 am when brunch opened, but these experiences are for learning, and I needed today to tune up for a week open for D.C. exploitation. In order to last the longest, I decided I would have to 1. constantly eat and drink, 2. play with food. I tried to make as many combinations of hot drinks as possible, and eat a lot of berries and grapefruit so as not to completely overeat. I made a sailboat out of bananas, grapefruit, saran wrap and bowls with water. It did not sail though. The goats kept coming and Hayley was there too, giving the time trial a team spirit over one of pure competition. I thought about making the end time my goal marathon time. Eventually people started leaving and I really had to pee, an unforeseen weakness that arose from what I thought was strategically drinking hot beverages to keep busy. I decided to save my strength, as the week ahead is long, and to conserve my endurance that I have cultivated throughout the season. The chick stayed to reach his goal of 3 hours, even though he in fact still has finals to do. I am trying to let his uniquely strong procrastinatory mindset and strategies rub off on me, so today was really just a "tune up". Although I am dissatisfied with my weakness in this first attempt, having gotten bored too easily and given in to my bladder, I plan next time to fully explore the options of the D.C., in particular, spending extended amounts of time 1. preparing elaborate meals, 2. carrying my tray and walking to my seat more slowly, 3. taking better advantage of the food for playing, 4. and oh so carefully sipping fluids and chewing my food. This should also help aid digestion.
PM: 5.5 miles Trails (5.5) Finally felt like myself today. Was really hungry but brunch was so late and just wanted to do one run so waited til the afternoon after a meal. Ran with Darian. Since the meet was moved I decided to just go as long as I felt like, which was 55 min, although my legs still feel a bit out of whack. I feel much better now that things are all done, it is amazing how much stress affects you physically.
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Saturday May 10th, 2008: 5.5 miles
AM: 2 miles (2:25:00 min) (0:00/pace) trails (2) Woke up really early at 6:30 feeling fine for some reason. Then really wasn't enough sleep but I had to finish work anyway.
Started laughing on my run a lot because it is funny it is my last day of school.
PM: 3.5 miles trails (3.5) Was going to ring the bell but decided I'd rather run. Not feeling great, just went easy for 35 min on trails. SLeep and stress not good for running. Have been taking naps in the morning at the computer and sometimes before bed. Now I am finally done with college that is weird.
Started laughing about this again. Saw Cone and a pigeon.
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Friday May 9th, 2008: 9.5 miles
AM: 2 miles (2:25:00 min) (0:00/pace) trails (2) Ran in the rain to bryn mawr for my exam
PM: 7.5 miles Rose lane into mile pickup (7.5) 4.5 Rose lane with Jane and Lena
Felt good but kind of full from lunch only 1.5 hrs earlier. Also wet.
Pickup mile 95 91 90 90=6:06
Didn't have a goal time, just was supposed to do the second half faster and build into it. Felt heavy with rain and weather sucked, also tired from not enough sleep and finals.
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